what does it mean when your leg get more swollen?

shd you still continue wearing the cast or shd you stop? making a trip to the hospital once again tmr..i really hope tt it will get better since the day i broke me leg, i am really trying my best but when things happen once n once again,how am i suppose to react? i hate people who are always complaining and whining but lately, i have become a champion in it…

maybe i really shd start being selfish and just think about myself..many a time i really wanna be miss do-it-all…

the only thing that excits me now is my TR3002 module..new venture creation..n all day long i am just thinking of what can i do in this module..something which can potentially change people’s lives…but yet,at this point i know i cant cope..not with 5 modules…not with TT…not with my leg..when all three adds together i know tt i really cant…

i guess is still the economics modules that are killing me…the level 4 economics modules are not for the weak hearted..everything looks so foreign to me..maybe this is the indication for meto graduate this semester…n with all the are going on this semester..i dun know how to survive..

one thing for sure..i need brand new files as well as an organizer to take not of all my datelines

been having all these thoughts bottled up inside me and i just desperately need a place to just rant!!

The days at San Francisco seems really far and distant now and all i could remember are only days with my beloved clutches and cast ( which has been progressed to a bigger, heavier and bulkier one) and it just sucked!!

All my positive vibes inside me are just gone!! gone are the days when i can move around in SF, and wheelchair was cool cuz i managed to get some perks and discount vouchers with it..n when i am back, i still cheered myself up,saying that it will be gone soon..n i stayed positive, still doing whatever i have been doing, trying my best even as i struggled through the never ending steps in NUS, always putting a smiling face and trying to joke around about it…when i see pple running around, i brush all negative thoughts away..

but i realised tt i am beaten, for one in my life, i am no longer in control..i hate such uncertainties..i went to the hospital hoping for good news, but instead,it was bad news and not only that, there is even more uncertainties now..the three weeks left is no longer three weeks..they are not sure if this will heal on its own..they do not know if it needs operation..n i realised at that moment that I AM BEATEN! i just cant go school n climb up all those steps with my heavy clutches and cast..i hate everyone for looking at me like i am a freak! i hate everyone tt looked at me with such pitiful eyes..

i am just angst, i am just pissed, i am just irritated, i am justdamn sian..i am trying to pull myself up..i know that this is not the end of the world..but i just hate hate this

okay, this is the end of my rants part 1!

hahaz been a million million 1967487963453 years since i blogged…hahaz i doubt anyone is reading it but my sisters forced me to comment on their wonderful flamango dance and her poor leg..

less than one more week to e end of my exams..ten or eleven more days before going back hong kong n e channelnewsasia made this damn dumb mistake..saying tt e temperature for next week will drop till 0 degrees…how lame…jan 2 will be the day i am starting my internship…super excited but yet still quite scared cuz e boss seems damn freaking demanding n what the woman warned me kinda scared me abit..not forgetting the lousy intern pay is even lesser than what i will earn at tuition..but it seems damn scary somehow…cuz is 28 weeks afterall..but i guess is a good challenge to me if i can really survive it…but the US trip seems good if i can extend my trip abit to travel around or sth…

exams was not so good..i totally sucked cuz i cant even press e calculator properly..but oh well…

2more papers to go!!!oh well…shall stop slacking n start doing some work!!!:):)

shall talk about my birthday party next entry!!!:):):):):)

SOON…

hahaz maybe..

been a million years since i last blogged..

but oh well this is gonna be a damn boring post..

but oh well i am totally enjoying life here!!minus today obviously..is like 4pm already but thanks to e stupid air-con person we are stuck at home lunch-less..luckily i had a super full breakfast..but i really think that i have gained a million kg since i came back to hong kong..hahaz n i have been whining to my boy about it every single day..but is really really really true this time…all the dim sums n sushis n all the char siew rice in my tummy…

m shopping has been ultra GOOD!!!i really heart HnM to the max like SERIOUSLY!!i spent like less than 150 bucks n i got like 6 tops..1 short 1 skirt..n like many pretty bangles n stuff…n is not even their sales..so glad that i got some time off yesterday after collecting my visa..n i went zara to look look around..n seriously if i had worked at that branch..i will kill myself..cuz each customer can try 10 pieces max..n everyone took like 9 10 pieces to try..seriously..their pile is never ending..but super glad that i controlled myself at zara yesterday cuz i saw much more pretty stuff at hnm after that..must go back one day before i leave hongkong again..

most prob going china this weekend!! yays!!!finally i can smell shianghai!!!

was supposed to help my dad but oh well..apparently he does not need my help anymore so i ended up being a part time nanny n tutor e first few days..

n somehow i am starting to develope a love hate relationship with hong kong…the pace of life in singapore is like snail pace as compared to hong kong..n i hate this kinda fast pace life where people will just think that u are some idiot if u just slow down abit..i hate this hectic pace of life n i prob will never ever adapt back to this pace..

but i love to shop there cuz their services rocks..like seriously..having worked in the service industry before i will never ever have that kinda energy to be so bubbly n stuff..esp when dealing with unreasonable customers..

n on a sidenote..i am too lazy to take any photos..

finally i can take a break…

unofficial end of my exams..not counting natural heritage…

n here is for all my whinings………………..

anyways i realised that i am one person that cant deal with choices..like for public today..the paper was actually quite easy..but somehow…i just blanked out..n all he different graphs just keep swimming in my head..n i just cant think…n somehow cuz i need to choose 1 out of 2..i just kept on changing my mind..wasting alot of my precious time and panicking cuz i dun have enough time..n e whole effect just multiply especially in my last 40 minutes..n it does not help that i kinda figured out how to do this other question but if i go back i wun have time for the one that i am doing..so i just panicked..fullstop

quite upsetting cuz it was seriously a super do-able paper as compared to micro…so it was kinda upsetting..

i should really start planning my grad trip for next year with all my ntu babes man..

n when the paper was being collected i just started to think about modules..n about what modules suit me..i am not a essay person for sure..n maybe not an econs person…

but i guess what worries me about not doing honors is just the fact that i dun want to step into the working world yet..cuz i dun know what i really wanna be..i was just watching LA ink n is really cool to see all those people having a passion in something and they just pursue their dreams..but somehow…when i start to think..whats the point of being in nus..is just for that damn piece of paper..thats all..fullstop..is really literally paying 24k just for a certificate i guess..

n my aim for this holiday is to really figure out all those answers..n also renovate my room!!!

hahaz yays!!! ikea here i come!!! :)

n so micro sucked!!!

boo-ness!!! :(

bye bye world

gonna blog more about my sister’s school funfair after exams..

but going to stc that day just brought back alot of things..though i was not from stc..but every time i step into an ij school..i just have this overwhelming feeling that i dunt know how to put into words..

but with the never finishing coupons..i actually went to buy this ij book which contain the history of all the different ij schools..n when i flip to the section on ijtp n ijbt..every single photo just brought back many many beautiful memories.. :) more on this next wednesday!!! :)

n i just love love ij to the max!!

IJ Spirit Song

The IJ Spirit’s living on,
It’s stretching far and far beyond,
It’s never gonna die it’s gonna live in each of us.
And we will keep it burning burning strong,
The flame of zest lies in us all along,
Always inspiring us, to go on.

n like how i always start my compo last time…

all these memories will be etched in my mind forever

n i am addicted to all the hot dog bush n pizza games!been just spending hours on them man!

ok..bye bye world till next wed!

almost dieded times a million today..was driving happily when i suddenly realised tt my petrol level is freaking low and so i made a stop at some random petrol place…

n when e person asked me how much i wanna top up..i suddenly realised tt my cash level is freaking low n i just got this feeling that there is not much money in my bank account..not after paying for all those shit bills n bringing my sisters out n stuff…n when he asked full tank? the thought of me not having enough money kinda crossed my mind but i thought to myself tt i think 30 bucks shd be good enough…

n when e petrol was being pumped i kinda had this panic attack..and started worrying what if i really did not have enough money..n true enough..my card got rejected cuz of insufficient cash..there goes my last tuition pay..e bill was 28 bucks after discount..n all i had was 18 dollars in cash..n i was like omg all the way already..but i kept my calm n asked if i could pay like 18 bucks in cash n e rest using e card..n e woman was damn nice n she helped me check my account balance…n i was really praying tt i will have enough to settle it..n thank god i had enough after adding my cash n stuff…

n on the rest of the journey i just had this damn disturbing thought..such as what if i was so freaking unlucky…what would have happened..if only i can unpump my petrol or something..n what disturbed me more was the fact that i do not know whom can i ask for help..who can i call to rescue me..there is really no one..no one at all that i can ask for help..

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oh well..met up with ruixin n jo today to mug abit..hahaz spent more time gossiping n talking rather than studying..but it was good to meet up with people that i have not met in a million years..thought we dun meet often..but somehow when we meet up everything just fall into place and we will just continue from where we left off the last time..n everytime i meet up with them i just wish that i am in ntu or something..hahaz

n on a side note..e new donut place at cityhall was quite good..apparently it beat krispy kremes in Indonesia..

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dropped jo off at some random hotel n on the way home..i suddenly thought of how we have matured from those cj days n how our mentality has changed..just remembered from those secondary school days when we just kept on talking during english lesson..n one incident that is etched in my memory is when miss teo or whatever her name is said sth like the four of u girls sit together talk together n fail together..hahaz n to those CJ days where we will wait for eachother at the bus stop and walk into school together..n all those eye candy days..where u dragged me to that uluated shopping centre to see your eye candy..to all those emo talks..

******

maybe we have really aged

******

those cj days..one of the things that we always based our judgment on whether a guy treat you right is 1)if he pays for everything and 2) if he sends you home..n during those days..those two are actually optional n if a guy fulfill both he must be a really good catch..

but somehow..our expectations just got higher..n fulfilling the two just doesn’t seem good enough..in fact…the guy should fulfill both of the criteria..if not this would imply that he is not treating you right..n looks is no longer the primary factor..now is more mainly based on money..n if he has car..n if he is gonna have a bright future..n somehow..stable is not bright..n some will argue that stable just means stagnant and the guy is not working hard enough to improve himself and so his future will be bleak..n somehow for now looks n build is downgraded to maybe number 3 or 4 in the list..

n putting it into economic perspective..maybe we are all just trying to maximize our utility(a.k.a find the best guy that treats you right..have a bright future..can provide for everything) given our constraint (a.k.a your looks)..

n on a random note!

Happy big 6!!!:):)